Walking Places

For a laugh, here is a copy of my report of my winter double to the Lyke Wake Walk Club: (See editor's note at bottom of this page for the significance of this statement)

Once again I have plumbed the depths of insanity, obsession, and masochism. Having made my solo crossing this past summer I wanted to complete my reverse and winter crossings before the Golden Jubilee. Due to the fact that I live on the other side of the pond my only chance was a winter double.

Wade and Dave* drove the mobile Boots/Marks & Sparks. Were it not for their faithful ministries we would surely have perished and, in all likelihood, been lost forever to a bog along with countless other would-be Dirgers.

The simple task of a winter double crossing was not a sufficient challenge so I broke my glasses while I was getting ready to start. Now, blind as a bat, I’m ready to go. Thus it was that on January 17, 2005 at 6:02AM, Kelly and I set out from the mast at Ravenscar. As we start off my “friends” waved a shovel; at least I think that is what it was…I couldn’t really see; and once again offered their kind words of encouragement: “Keep moving Old Man. Stop, and we’ll bury you in one of those bogs.” With that I trudge off into a sea of amorphous sights, light rain, and howling winds.

We are doing the reverse first so we will have the light and while we are fresh. The winds are vicious at times and not being able to see anything other than a blur is no fun but having a partner along and knowing that hot drink, dry cloths, and medical attention (if needed) will be waiting at each checkpoint makes a world of difference. We are also able to travel very light.

At our first stop I begin to realize just how nice it is going to be having a support team! I get hot chocolate, a banana, and dry socks! Wade does his Doctor routine and insists on checking us out and shoving some mystery pills at us. They work us over like a racecar pit crew. In no time we’re off again.

With the exception of me doing a bit of bog diving, the winds and some rain we make the first crossing in fair time and good health. We arrive at the LWW stone at 2:18PM. Because the weather doesn’t seem to be getting any better I push to start the return trip while we still have light. That and I’m afraid that if we stop too long I’ll set up like concrete. The barometer has been falling all day.

The return trip is a cornucopia of miseries: gale winds, rain, sleet, a bit of snow, dark, cold, pain, and exhaustion. For the most part our world is reduced to pools of light cast by our headlamps and the glowing screen of the GPS. Having the route in the GPS is a lifesaver. Things go fairly well until Kelly trips and falls hard about a mile short of the Lion. He says he is done so Dave comes to helps him while Wade finishes the walk with me.

The walk is now a blur in more ways than just my vision. I trudge on with Wade clucking like an old mother hen. At Jugger Beck I fall flat on my face. This wakes me up enough to realize that if I stop now I’ll never get moving again, so I totter on. I finish at 6:47AM, dead tired, half frozen, and beat up. All I want now is to be warm and asleep. I’ll be happy later. Kelly is now a Dirger and I have completed the double. Thanks to Kelly, Wade, and Dave!

*(No last names given by request. Probably due to the countless moving violations committed during this venture)

Notes:
1) This little odyssey has left me with a cracked patella, a chipped tooth, and a sprained ankle. I’m miserable, but happy.
2) There is a prize awaiting the next person to make the walk. I seem to have lost the GPS when I fell at Jugger Beck.
3) Other than the Gales, Bogs, Fogs, Floods, Rain, Sleet, and Snow the Lyke Wake Walk is a pleasant little stroll.
4) Also, I’m writing a book entitled: “Zen and the Art of Bog Crossing” Thanks again!

Trekker aka "The Old Man" was right about you not having any trouble if you're a regular walker. He suckered me into making that trip with him. Since my job entails a lot of walking/running around with a pack I would have been fine, but we had lousy weather and I was dragging a half blind old coot along. Stay hydrated and watch your feet and you will make it no problem.

Time and distance do make it look a lot more attractive. If you lose your sense of humor then all is lost! Even though my report may sound like I'm gripping (that's what soldiers do – it is a tradition) it was a great day. That said any day I don't get shot at is a good day! I guess all things are relative.

Now in the interest of accuracy (and mainly to tick Trekker off) I'll give you my side of that trip, or as Paul Harvey says "Now for the rest of the story"

Crossing Report - I am writing to report a crossing and a double-crossing of the Lyke Wake Walk.

I left Ravenscar on January 17th at 06:02, by my watch, along with Trekker. Dave and Doc provided logistical support along the course.

The primary objective of this mission was to ensure that Trekker got his double crossing in before the Golden Jubilee of the Lyke Wake Club. In that respect the mission was a success. With the solo he completed this summer this makes his third crossing.

We almost had a murder before we ever got started. While Trekker was getting his kit set the Doc somehow managed to step on, and utterly destroy his glasses. For a moment there I wasn’t sure if Doc was going to need medical attention or a body bag. Trekker let him off the hook, but he is now blind. This should make things interesting.

We make our first outbound leg between Ravenscar and Eller Beck with little trouble. Aside from a “brisk breeze” and a “bit of rain” it was a walk in the park, compared to what was to come. We get our first dose of what is to become Doc’s spiel: “Drink this”, “Eat that”, “Take these”, “Show me your feet”, and on, and on. He’s got his job. I’ve got mine.

On the way to Ralph Crosses Trekker starts carrying trekking poles and I wish I had. He let me try them and promptly did a header into the muck. That probably saved his life, because I had been trying to decide just how I was going to kill him for getting me into this. But after watching him wallow around I decided it would be far crueller to just let him live.

I now know about a bog. Dave and Doc now know about Theakston. I hate them. The winds are tough but the old railway is a pleasant change after the muck.

We make it to the Lyke Wake Stone at 14:18. We have sucked down untold packets power gels and gallons of power aid, but we have made it. I have just completed my first crossing and Trekker has now completed his second. Damn if I know how or why he did this solo the first time.

The Doc does his thing as we brace ourselves for the second half of our little hike. Trekker is impatient to start back. He is worried that the weather is going to deteriorate. So off we go. The return promises to be a long, windy, cold, dark, reverse version of the outbound trip. The GPS really earns its keep this night. On the plus side the winds should be more in our favor. On the down side we’ve just walked 20 odd miles, it’s going to get dark, and the temps are dropping.

That said; we make reasonable progress until we are headed down the old railway. We had picked up the pace and were making good time. That is when my left knee stopped working and I went down hard on my left shoulder. I stagger back to my feet and take stock. I am still somewhat mobile and not mortally wounded but I am cold, I am wet, I am done. I do not want the double that badly. We are just less than one mile from the Lion.

I radio Doc and Dave to let them know what is going on. I tell Trekker to go on and that I’ll have Dave come and meet me. Trekker refuses to leave until Dave can get to us, but I tell him if he does not get going now that he will seize up and that we will surely bury his sorry frozen butt in a bog. He finally carries on when we see Dave’s light double timing it up the trail. I then radio Doc and order him to gear up and be ready to run, it is pay back time for those glasses.

For me the rest of the night passes in a series of naps. When Trekker and Doc show up at a checkpoint the Doc gives Trekker a quick once over as he changes socks and downs something hot. They barely stop moving now. He is running down and the Doc is about ready to pull the plug on him.

Doc radios from Jugger Beck that Trekker has taken a pretty nasty fall. Doc says he has a banged up knee, a loose tooth, and is a bloody mess. The Doc thinks he is done, but he won’t stop when they pass us at the A171. He is not moving very fast but he is one stubborn old coot. He is a sad sight shuffling along leaning on his poles. I was right to let him live earlier.

Trekker and the Doc arrive at the finish at 06:47. Trekker has completed his precious double. He looks like death warmed over. A fitting end to the Lyke Wake Walk.

The last part of our mission is to get him cleaned up and on his flight home. We have heated enough water for a quick wash up in the back of the old Landy. The Doc works on him as we race to the airport. We get him there and checked in, then shove what’s left of his carcass towards the gate.

P.S. Trekker owes me a T-shirt and will pay for my card. If he does not, I have a shovel, I know how to use it, and I now know where the bogs are.

In order to become a "Dirger" (or for ladies a "Witch") walkers must submit a report of crossings to the LWW club within 28 days.

The 'new' Lyke Wake Club awards degrees to those who have made multiple crossings of the North York Moors and exhibited a knowledge of moorland skills and the ethos of the club. It also recognises degrees awarded by the old club which closed down on 1 October 2005.

These degrees may be conferred upon candidates considered by the Council (or its appointees) to meet the following criteria:

1. "Master or Mistress of Misery" Complete three crossings, one in the reverse direction and demonstrate by inquisition an appreciation of the ethos of the Club and a knowledge of moorland skills. (Neckbands: - black)

2. "Doctor of Dolefulness" Complete four more crossings. The total seven crossings to include a winter crossing (between 1st December and 29th February) and an unsupported crossing. Also to present a Doctoral Thesis on a learned subject relevant to the ethos of the Club. (Neckbands: - black and purple)

3. "Past Master" or "Past Mistress": Complete fifteen crossings and perform services to the Club recognised as exceptional by the Council. Be considered capable of finding the way across any moor by day or night, whether drunk or sober without map or compass. (Black and purple boutonniere)